My bald family

This will be short. I figured I would do one more entry before my bodily clean out tomorrow. They told me I can't eat anything after noon today. Stink. My surgery isn't even until 2:30 in the afternoon tomorrow. There is nothing like actually having your appetite back and then being told you can't eat. I told Josh he is on his own with the kids and Sunday dinner. I can't cook and then be expected not to eat it. I might be tempted too much.
My mom took our family pictures a couple of weeks ago. I have been meaning to post them but just keet forgetting. Here they are.

Drue was ticked off in this one. We just ate dinner and she wanted to eat pancakes at my brother's house. We told her no. It looks like she is giving us the finger.

Vicodin...

Ethan is celebrating the 4th in his own style. He is in my brother's golf bag cooler and completely satisfied. Notice the product placement for Nike. I should make them pay me for this one.

Okay, I realize that it has been a while since I lasted posted. I haven't really had any new news to pass along, other than the last round of chemo was pretty cruddy. I don't recommend it. Josh jokes that I am going to get addicted and end up at the stairs of the hospital, begging for my next chemo fix. Ahhhhh. Yes Josh. That's exactly it.

This last round was pretty tough. I didn't get as nauseated but the bone aching was, by far, worse than ever. I have been avoiding the pain killers until then (I can't take them and try to be a mom, they make me too groggy), but I couldn't manage this time. I was poppin' Vicodin like it was going out of style. I even tried to play Tiger Woods golf on Vicodin. I think Josh was laughing the entire time. My fairway accuracy was at a pathetic 8%.

While some of you might think poorly of us playing video games, I say hogwash. Josh and I consider it quality time together where we laugh, joke and have a good time. It beats watching television. Hey, at least it is not a game of blowing eachother's brains out. I think everyone oughtta try it. The golf. Not blowing brains out.

My 4th of July was spent at home all day on Vicodin with my mom doing my laundry. I love her. It was such a huge help for me to have her do that. Then, like she said, we went to the park and enjoyed the fireworks. Me? Fireworks on Vicodin.

I am happy to announce that I have successfully come off the drug for the time being. We will see how next round goes.

The other side effect of this new chemo dose the doc mentioned was that I may get a numbness in my fingers. Well, the numbness hit but it migrated to my feet. Weird eh? It feels like I have been sitting cross legged for a couple of hours and my feet just won't quite regain conciousness.

I am feeling great now and looking forward to my 4th surgery this coming Monday where I lose another pound when they remove my uterus and all other reproducing female organs. This might disgust some of you so if you are weak of stomach, stop reading. Josh has joked that we should take all my thus removed parts and take them to a taxadermist to mount on our bedroom wall, commemorating all I have been through. The shrine would so far include lymph nodes, a right...ahem....breast, and as of Monday, some ovaries and a uterus.

Don't worry. I won't do it. But we do laugh about it quite a bit.

Thanks for all your support!

"Cancer Mom"

I guess since Paige doesn't like me to be a "stage mom" I will have to replace it with being a "cancer mom"!

Can I just start by saying that I think I have a very amazing daughter?! She truly never ceases to amaze me with the strength she just keeps pulling out of her hat.....or scarf....or wig....or whatever the case may be. This last chemo has been pretty tough on her. She was connected to the machine with the fluids for 7 hours! UGH! Then as if to mock her, the chemo junk has really made her sick this time. More than usual. Maybe because the stuff they are now giving her is so strong! Not to mention she is still being a wife and mother after having a baby and a Mastectomy.....GOOD GRIEF! Enough already! But inspite of it all, she just keeps on keepin' on! Thank goodness, only three more of these chemo's!

We went to the 4th of July fireworks at the park last night and all really enjoyed watching the many, many,many, unusual (I'm trying to be diplomatic) people and choices of ridiculous clothing they were wearing (or NOT wearing)! And a good time was had by all! Paige and Josh and the kids were all there, as well as Adam, Joi and the family. Little Ethen was totally mezmerized with the fireworks, I couldn't believe he didn't even cry. Drue and little Josh were having a blast with the "glow in the dark" necklaces Josh had bought for everyone. Paige was in alot of pain because of the shot they give her after chemo that causes her bones to hurt intensly!
But she finally took a pain pill and enjoyed the fireworks like none of the rest of us possibly could.

On top of everything else Paige and Josh have had to do, little Josh had his tonsils out on tuesday morning. He has had his ups and downs but all in all has done very well.

Drue is still taking really good care of the baby and will make a really good mommy some day....like her mommy!

I am really proud of Paige and Josh and all they are to each other and to us as a family! They are two of the strongest people I know and I love them very much!

Thank you everyone for your love and your prayers!
Mary Lee

Things that make me smile!

My friend that I meet my first day of Chemo, Karen, did a posting on her blog titled, "Things that cheer me during Chemo #4." I loved it so much that I took her idea (sorry Karen) and decided to do my own.

#1 My husband....of course. The last couple of nights we have had our own PGA tournament on PS2. Too much fun! And, I actually won him the other night.

#2 My kids:

This is Drue trying to get the baby to smile for the picture. She just loves Ethan so much I have a hard time containing her love. It's a good thing Ethan is a mild baby.

The picture on the right is pretty self-explanatory. Drue was playing house. I am not sure who the mom is but I know that Ethan in the TOY stroller was part of the role playing. He looks pretty content. And Josh? Well, I am not sure what to think about Josh. He would make a cute girl?

Ethan's foot. I could just chew on it all day long. How can you resist such toes.

#3 My family. Immediate and extended. They are such a support to me and keep me going. Thank you.

#4 All of you and your comments. They all make me smile.

The radiologist feels like the margins are safe enough for radiation so I don't have to have another surgery. That is good, eh?

I have enjoyed having these last few weeks off from Chemo. The last couple of days food started sounding good to me again. I have been hoarding like there is no tomorrow. I am stashing up my fat supplies for when I undergo food depletion again.

I have seen 3 shows in the last week. The first was Les Miserables at Tuacahn. Excellent. A few things I didn't like but I think that is just because I have resentment for not being a part of the shows this year. Stupid cancer!

The second was Cabaret put on by The Space Between Theatre Company. They performed it out in Kayenta. Not bad for such a little company. My favorites were the moments played by Richard Hill and Chris Hyatt. It made the show.

The last show I took my daughter to last night. It was High School Musical at SGMT. I have to admit....it was good. I have never seen the movie or any renditioned performance so I had nothing to judge it against. I thought the kids did a great job. Drue developed a little crush on the male lead, Troy. She also has never seen it. By the end she was dancing, clapping and flirting with "Troy." Oh boy. I think I may have to go get her the movie now.

Note: I am not getting paid for any of these reviews.

It just brings me to my #6 item that makes me smile. I love theatre. Good or bad. I love it. I love to critique it. More importantly, I love to be a part of it.

This last picture I stole off of Karen's blog.

It was during our 3rd treatment. Unfortunately the picture was taken right after they started giving me the drug that makes me extremely nauseous. Take note of the vomit bowl on my lap. I thought it added a nice touch. Nonetheless, I love the picture and I love Karen. I couldn't make it through chemo without her. I am sorry you have to go through this Karen but I think God is doing it for me. I know. I am selfish.

Thank you everyone!

Post-op

I found this photo in my picture files. It is my mom and dad's wedding photo at the Salt Lake Temple. I thought it was a nice thing to add.
I was telling someone the other day how I always feel a little weird just talking about myself on this blog. So, I like to add pictures just to take the focus away a little bit. That is why there are random photos on here. If I had pictures to relate to cancer more I would post them but I haven't yet figured out how to take a snapshot of the desctructive little cells.

It has now been a little over a week since my operation and I think I am recovering pretty well. I am sore and have some limited use of my arm but for the most part, I feel great.

This last weekend was the Showell Family Reunion. It was a lot of fun and great to see family members. My cousin, Troy Williamson is as bald as they come so we are quite the match. I actually wore a wig this weekend for a little bit and my entire family said that is almost seems unnatural for me to have hair now. Hmmm.... Interesting.

This is Josh on Mother's Day. Just having fun in a couple inches of water. Ahhhh....to be a kid again.

I got the result back from pathology for my my mastectomy. The tumor was still larger than anticipated. About 4.2 centimeters. My surgeous said she is fairly confident about her margins but there was one area in question. My oncologist also questions it. He said he is not sure we can do radiation. There was some ductal carcinoma that they found so I have to meet with a radiologist doc and he will decide if I can have radiation with those close margins. If not, then I will have to undergo the knife again to clean out more tissue.

I still have 4 more rounds of chemo that are 2 weeks apart. I will start those back up a week from Friday. Then I get this fun drug called Herceptin. It is to get my HER/2 Neu's under control. I will have that for about 1 year.

My oncologist said today that my cancer gives him the "heeby jeebies." I thought that was kind of funny.

And....another cute picture of the baby and my supportive bald husband.

Thank you for all your love. I know. I start to sound repetitive but I don't think I could ever say it enough. Thank you! Thank you!

eh...?

This is the quilt that my family made. Everyone contributed a square to represent their family then my mother-in-law sewed the whole thing together. I thought it was pretty touching. I love it. I wrap up with it every day/night.

Okay. So I am not really sure how to start this one off. I had a "simple mastectomy" on Monday morning. Today is Wednesday and while I would like to say I feel wonderful, it wouldn't be exactly true. I do feel great, all things considered. I truly anticipate the day when I will be all whole again. No aches and pains. No nausea or fatigue. Ahhhhhh, let me relish in those thoughts for a moment.

The surgery went well. My doctor said she thinks she got all the tissue but we will know more when the results get back from pathology. In the meantime, I am back to accessorizing my wardrobe with a lovely drain tube that hangs from under my arm. I think I am going to start a new fashion statement. In my opinion, everyone should try one of these tubes out!

I am a little tender and sore from the surgery. I can't really lift a bunch so I have a lot of help with my baby and the other kids.

Today, I am home a lone. My sister-in-law took my children so I could rest. I figured now would be a good time to catch up on this blog, do some journaling and read up some more on cancer. I have an exciting day ahead of me.

I am not sure when I start chemo again. I meet with my doctor in a little over a week. I guess he will decide when.

This is my daughter in her tap dance costume. I thought she looked adorable as a little flapper girl. She was even more adorable in the dance recital.
She is handling everything well. Sometimes, when she sees me having a tough day, she gets a little emotional. She gave me her "blankie" that she has had since she was a baby. She told me to sleep with it so it would help me get better. I haven't gone a night without it yet. She is so sweet.

I still appreciate all you prayers and words of encouragement.

I love you all!

Paige

Good news!

Alright! I am so excited. Firstly, I don't have to have a treatment this Friday so I will actually get to enjoy my time camping with the entire family. "Why?" You ask? Well, I went to the doc yesterday and he said my PET Scan looked really really good. He said instead of waiting after the 8th chemo treatment to have surgery, he just wanted to get the little bugger out immediately. Yeah! I get to have my breast whacked off. I know. I never thought I would be excited to hear myself say that. In addition to this fantastic news, he said I would probably only need 4 more treatments instead of the originally intended 12! He said, and these are his exact words, "This has been kick butt chemo." I would have to agree.

So, on Monday I go in for my first mastectomy. I will have the other one removed when I am all done with chemo and radiation and all cancer free! Celebrate with me! I am!

In other news, we blessed Ethan this weekend. Josh's family came to visit and it was wonderful having them here. I have pictures of the blessing but Josh took the camera to work with him today so I won't be able to post the pictures until later.

My family made a beautiful quilt for me. It is absolutely gorgeous and I cried when I saw it. Again, I will have to post a picture of that one later too. I just didn't want to wait to share the good news!

This picture is of all my in-laws in Georgia. They decided that instead of shaving there heads they would strike a pose with bald caps for me to show there support. I especially love the painted on eyebrows!



Enjoy. I will post more later!

Paige