Wednesday, October 28, 2009


I posted this on my other blog also, so if you read both, I apologize for being redundant.

Allow me to wallow in my own pity for a moment. I try not to do it often so just humor me

I consider myself to be a a fairly strong woman. I don't succumb to pain much. I force myself through it.

And now I will proceed to put my foot in my mouth and possibly feast on my own words here.

This surgery, by far, is the worst yet. They have finally removed my port (which I asked to a souvenir), cut off my left breast and place expander underneath the muscle in both sides of my chest. Not a whole lot of fun. I would really like to head home today but it is not looking very hopeful.

My Doctor asked me if I felt like a train wreck. That is putting it mildly. I told my husband it feels like a herd of Clydesdale horses stampeded my chest.
Don't let the innocent look fool you.....

Not once, and mean NOT ONCE, did I ever throw up from a single chemo treatment.

Just since the surgery I have already lost my cookies 3 times. I can't seem to keep anything down.....and the pain.....oh the pain....I dare say, it is worse than child birth. I just have to keep my eye on the prize. 6 months from now I will be a whole new women with a new set of boobs. Eye on the prize. Eye on the prize.

'Til then? I continue to eat crackers and be doped on morphine and lortab until they release me for home. One of the goals my nurses wrote on the whiteboard was to "Tolerate Diet." So far, not much luck!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


I am sitting here in the hospital pre-op waiting for my surgery and they just informed me it will be another hour.


When I came in they were routinely attempting to poke me with a needle to yield some blood for the lab. They couldn't find one to get enough juice out. I sarcastically had to tell them it was because I was instructed not to eat or drink anything since midnight last night so I am dehydrated.
What did they expect?!

My husband is in the corner, mourning the loss of the last of my ta-ta. Oh the pain and agony he must be going through....uh....yeah?

We took our family on the Cabo cruise and returned late Saturday. I arrived only to find out that the hospital was trying to reach me to register me for my surgery. It was this same surgery that I was told 2 weeks ago was "off" because both surgeons couldn't be present. Apparently while I was basking in the remnants Hurricane Rick, the doctors had a pow-wow and decided to put me back on their schedule. Which leads me to now. Sitting in the hospital room, starving, and waiting. Did I mention I am hungry?

At least this surgery I gain something from. In approximately 6 months I will be the proud owner of a new rack!

(Sorry, no pictures with this one.....if I did, I might get slapped for pornography. Although, is it pornography if there is technically nothin' there?)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Showers and hair

On my website, I post a weekly cancer joke. I know it is kind of cynnical but I do it anyway. I have been getting a lot of hits. This last week I posted this one:

What's the best thing about having cancer?

Shorter showers.

Although, I would like to think that this joke originally came from me.
After I shaved my hair (I shaved it the morning after my husband was stroking my head and clumps were falling out....another post....another time), I was taking a shower and routinely squirted a blob of shampoo in my hand and proceeded to lather, rinse, repeat. It dawned on me, as I was scrubbing my folicly challenged scalp, that there was nothing their to wash. I replaced the shampoo to its resting place for the next 9 months, never to be opened again during that time.

Soon after the loss of my hair, I discovered that I know longer needed to shave my legs nor pits. It was a heavenly experience. The last to go was my eyelashes and eyebrows. It occurred to me one day, while I was scraping mascara onto my eyelids and poking myself with little fine bristels, that it was probably a moot point. I retired the mascara. I did creative with my eyebrows and drew them on relative to my day (angry eyebrows, excited eyebrows, etc.).

All in all? My preparation time in the morning dropped to 5 minutes flat.
My husband would joke that our water bill had gone down substantially.
Hmmmm. Maybe so, but I still don't think a fair enough trade with all the doctor bills coming in....


I got my PET Scan yesterday. What a fun that ordeal always is!

Coupled with Anxiety and Starvation for the test, it made for a good day for me yesterday!

I will post the results later....but in case I forget, just assume that no news is good news!