Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Pain

I posted this on my other blog also, so if you read both, I apologize for being redundant.

Allow me to wallow in my own pity for a moment. I try not to do it often so just humor me

I consider myself to be a a fairly strong woman. I don't succumb to pain much. I force myself through it.

And now I will proceed to put my foot in my mouth and possibly feast on my own words here.

This surgery, by far, is the worst yet. They have finally removed my port (which I asked to keep....as a souvenir), cut off my left breast and place expander underneath the muscle in both sides of my chest. Not a whole lot of fun. I would really like to head home today but it is not looking very hopeful.

My Doctor asked me if I felt like a train wreck. That is putting it mildly. I told my husband it feels like a herd of Clydesdale horses stampeded my chest.
Don't let the innocent look fool you.....

Not once, and mean NOT ONCE, did I ever throw up from a single chemo treatment.

Just since the surgery I have already lost my cookies 3 times. I can't seem to keep anything down.....and the pain.....oh the pain....I dare say, it is worse than child birth. I just have to keep my eye on the prize. 6 months from now I will be a whole new women with a new set of boobs. Eye on the prize. Eye on the prize.

'Til then? I continue to eat crackers and be doped on morphine and lortab until they release me for home. One of the goals my nurses wrote on the whiteboard was to "Tolerate Diet." So far, not much luck!

8 comments:

Alayna Williamson said...

Oh Paige,

I heard this surgery was horrible - I'm so sorry! Hang in there. Just think how great you'll look in 6 months!

daisy said...

Sorry Paige. You of all people do not need to be throwing up food. I can't even imagine the pain. Just think: Eye on the boob(s). Eye on the boob(s).

Showell Family said...

Thinking of you Paige. We will say a special prayer for you!

Christin said...

Paige I am so sorry. I'm coming to get Ethan tomorrow. Hang in there.

Christin

The Allred Family said...

AWWWWW....I am so sorry you are having to go through all this. but great outlook...it will be over soon and you'll be a whole new woman with a great rack!!!! :)

Jen said...

Yippy new boobs!! We are praying for you Paige!

The Baker Family said...

You're strong!! You'll make it!! You're in our prayers...

Kimi said...

Paige,

Holy cow. I had no idea. Just stumbled onto your blog through a maze of others. Will keep you and your family in our prayers.