high on chemo

Okay, so I am sitting here getting my next treatment and I am pretty drugged. If there any typos I blame the drugs. It is extremely difficult for me to focus right now, let alone type.
My operation went well.
I had my hysterectomy on Monday, July 14. I am officially wiped clean. When I went to check in for my surgery they asked me, “Now you do understand that this will make you sterile?” I turned to my husband with a concerned look on my face and said, “Honey, we have to stop trying for more kids. Apparantly I won’t be able to have any more.” The lady in the next booth chuckled. She got my humor.
The surgery went well. I don’t remember much. I was starving before I went in and I asked my doctor if I would be able to eat after the surgery. He gently smiled and said, “Well, let’s see how you are feeling.”
I was told I couldn’t eat anything but clear liquids as of Sunday by noon. Then, my surgery Wasn’t until 6 p.m. the following day. I was actually scheduled earlier but the operating room they had me scheduled for was backed up. I didn’t come out of surgery until 9 o’clock that night.
Usually when I wake up from surgery they hold me in the post-op room to watch my vitals. I can always remember being wide awake, staring at the clock just hoping that it would speed up so I could be reunited with my husband. This time, I didn’t wake up at all. The next thing I remember after my surgery was my husband saying, “I am going to go home now.” I begged him. “Why?” Then I looked at the clock and realized what time it was. Where had all the time gone? I slept. Shortly after Josh left Dr. Lunt came in. I didn’t realize that I was fighting something. I kept batting at things around me and wrestling with piles of blankets. Apparently they mummified me. They wrapped me in blankets from head to toe. I had blankets around my bald head and tucked in every nook and cranny I didn’t even know I had. When the doctor came in he chuckled and helped me untangle out of the mass of blankets. I can only imagine what I looked like. He exchanged a few words with me, none of which I can remember and went on his way.
The next thing I remember was waking up to the light knock of doctor Lunt coming back in to check on me. He is such a great doctor. On Sunday he called me twice to see if I was doing okay and if I
if I had any questions before the operation. He called me again Monday morning for the same reason.
When he entered my hospital room he did his routine check up. He told me the surgery went well. I think he probably just repeated himself from the night before but it was good to hear since I don’t recollect any of it.
The pain in my abdominals was excruciating. It felt like I had 2 babies. One vaginally and one caesarean. My gut and my party platter hurt. I had a hysterectomy with a salpingo-oopherectomy. Try saying that 3 times fast. Basically they took everything. My uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. It brings a new meaning to the word sterile. They did it laproscopic assisted, meaning: They pumped me up like a balloon, made 3 little incisions in my stomach, clipped the uterus and removed it vaginally and took the rest out at the same time. Fun times.
I stayed an extra day and went home the following morning.
I kept the leg warmers on my legs as instructed. Dr. Lunt said that Cancer plus Surgery equals Blood Clot and the last thing we needed was a Pulmonary Embelism. I agreed and continued letting the maching massage my legs every minute or so.
My kids were sent out to different people in my ward so I was able to get some rest that day. But, then Josh called and said he would be a little later. I decided it was getting late so I would just go pick up the kids myself. I picked them up and brought them home. I am not suppose to lift anything over 5 pounds. Of course, I have to cheat. My baby is now 13 pounds and is starting to get too heavy for Drue to constantly lift him.
Josh's sister just got off her mission and his family is all down here. I am so proud of her. She is a great example to me. She went to Salt Lake City. Go ahead. Laugh. We did. She did great though and I really hope she moves back in with us.
I don't have any pictures this time. Just a whole lot of words. I don't have any pics on my laptop. They are all at home on my other computer.
I really love reading all your comments. I have had friends that I haven't seen in years and years and it is great reading your blogs and hearing your comments. I love you all. Mwah!

My bald family

This will be short. I figured I would do one more entry before my bodily clean out tomorrow. They told me I can't eat anything after noon today. Stink. My surgery isn't even until 2:30 in the afternoon tomorrow. There is nothing like actually having your appetite back and then being told you can't eat. I told Josh he is on his own with the kids and Sunday dinner. I can't cook and then be expected not to eat it. I might be tempted too much.
My mom took our family pictures a couple of weeks ago. I have been meaning to post them but just keet forgetting. Here they are.

Drue was ticked off in this one. We just ate dinner and she wanted to eat pancakes at my brother's house. We told her no. It looks like she is giving us the finger.

Vicodin...

Ethan is celebrating the 4th in his own style. He is in my brother's golf bag cooler and completely satisfied. Notice the product placement for Nike. I should make them pay me for this one.

Okay, I realize that it has been a while since I lasted posted. I haven't really had any new news to pass along, other than the last round of chemo was pretty cruddy. I don't recommend it. Josh jokes that I am going to get addicted and end up at the stairs of the hospital, begging for my next chemo fix. Ahhhhh. Yes Josh. That's exactly it.

This last round was pretty tough. I didn't get as nauseated but the bone aching was, by far, worse than ever. I have been avoiding the pain killers until then (I can't take them and try to be a mom, they make me too groggy), but I couldn't manage this time. I was poppin' Vicodin like it was going out of style. I even tried to play Tiger Woods golf on Vicodin. I think Josh was laughing the entire time. My fairway accuracy was at a pathetic 8%.

While some of you might think poorly of us playing video games, I say hogwash. Josh and I consider it quality time together where we laugh, joke and have a good time. It beats watching television. Hey, at least it is not a game of blowing eachother's brains out. I think everyone oughtta try it. The golf. Not blowing brains out.

My 4th of July was spent at home all day on Vicodin with my mom doing my laundry. I love her. It was such a huge help for me to have her do that. Then, like she said, we went to the park and enjoyed the fireworks. Me? Fireworks on Vicodin.

I am happy to announce that I have successfully come off the drug for the time being. We will see how next round goes.

The other side effect of this new chemo dose the doc mentioned was that I may get a numbness in my fingers. Well, the numbness hit but it migrated to my feet. Weird eh? It feels like I have been sitting cross legged for a couple of hours and my feet just won't quite regain conciousness.

I am feeling great now and looking forward to my 4th surgery this coming Monday where I lose another pound when they remove my uterus and all other reproducing female organs. This might disgust some of you so if you are weak of stomach, stop reading. Josh has joked that we should take all my thus removed parts and take them to a taxadermist to mount on our bedroom wall, commemorating all I have been through. The shrine would so far include lymph nodes, a right...ahem....breast, and as of Monday, some ovaries and a uterus.

Don't worry. I won't do it. But we do laugh about it quite a bit.

Thanks for all your support!

"Cancer Mom"

I guess since Paige doesn't like me to be a "stage mom" I will have to replace it with being a "cancer mom"!

Can I just start by saying that I think I have a very amazing daughter?! She truly never ceases to amaze me with the strength she just keeps pulling out of her hat.....or scarf....or wig....or whatever the case may be. This last chemo has been pretty tough on her. She was connected to the machine with the fluids for 7 hours! UGH! Then as if to mock her, the chemo junk has really made her sick this time. More than usual. Maybe because the stuff they are now giving her is so strong! Not to mention she is still being a wife and mother after having a baby and a Mastectomy.....GOOD GRIEF! Enough already! But inspite of it all, she just keeps on keepin' on! Thank goodness, only three more of these chemo's!

We went to the 4th of July fireworks at the park last night and all really enjoyed watching the many, many,many, unusual (I'm trying to be diplomatic) people and choices of ridiculous clothing they were wearing (or NOT wearing)! And a good time was had by all! Paige and Josh and the kids were all there, as well as Adam, Joi and the family. Little Ethen was totally mezmerized with the fireworks, I couldn't believe he didn't even cry. Drue and little Josh were having a blast with the "glow in the dark" necklaces Josh had bought for everyone. Paige was in alot of pain because of the shot they give her after chemo that causes her bones to hurt intensly!
But she finally took a pain pill and enjoyed the fireworks like none of the rest of us possibly could.

On top of everything else Paige and Josh have had to do, little Josh had his tonsils out on tuesday morning. He has had his ups and downs but all in all has done very well.

Drue is still taking really good care of the baby and will make a really good mommy some day....like her mommy!

I am really proud of Paige and Josh and all they are to each other and to us as a family! They are two of the strongest people I know and I love them very much!

Thank you everyone for your love and your prayers!
Mary Lee